You can imagine that after like, a hundred weeks of no new Gossip Girl, I would be 100 percent on top of yesterday's new episode. Unfortunately, it's playoff season, and my roommate absolutely NEEDED to watch the Rangers get shut out by the Capitals on our big TV. Fortunately, your favorite blogger has the patience of . . . that guy that has a lot of patience. And also compassionate, because I know you folks have been jonesing for some GG levity on the ol' blog. This one was a stunner.
9:30 I’m watching on DVR, so the times are all off. Woops. On another note, go Caps.
My other roommate, who barely watches, recognized it at the word go: Blair is a nutcase. Nice dream.
Cyrus is back. This is tremendous news.
9:32 I forgot that Serena made the completely irresponsible decision to take a trip to Spain with Poppy and her boyfriend.
. . . or maybe Poppy wasn’t there. A mystery!
9:34 Nate? Getting into Columbia? By himself? Maybe grandpa didn’t make a call, but I’m sure a call wasn’t even necessary. It’s Nate we’re talking about, people. Columbia material, he ain't.
9:35 Who’s this greasy chucker that Jenny is doing homework with? What a decidedly ordinary looking young chap.
9:37 With Bart out of the picture, I feel like there’s been a manipulative-jerk-shaped hole left in my heart. Thank you, Grandpa Vanderbilt.
I’ve legitimately forgotten all of the little GG spoilers I’ve read online. And now I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out why s needs a lawyer.
9:40 Is it ok for me to read a little antisemitism in B’s steadfast refusal to be around for the Seder?
“You look familiar. Have you worked for me before?” Welcome back. Eleanor.
9:43 Nate, choosing Columbia and showing some rare backbone. What am I supposed to think?
Oh, that’s right. Serena got married in Spain. I knew that!
9:45 I’m glad Dan is displaying a nice little bit of incredulity and indignation at Serena’s ridiculous story. And he’s right! Theirs is a love that transcends reality, and they couldn’t make it work, but then Serena goes and gets married to Poppy’s ex? As Brodie Bruce would say, the guy’s a walking hard-on!
9:50 “If you hear screams, don’t be alarmed. We’re fine.” Welcome back, chuck. Actually, welcome back everybody. How did I survive all those weeks without gg?
9:52 Nate! I’m not prepared for you to not be a drip!
9:53 You do owe Gabriel at least a talk, S.
. . . and Serena, I swear on everything good and holy on God’s sweet and merciful creation, if you drag Dan into this and break his heart . . . well, I don’t know what I’ll do. But it’ll be bad!
9:56 Sitting in Elijah’s seat is bad juju. This Seder can only end poorly!
9:58 Ooooh. The rare bit of long-term continuity on television. I COMEPLETELY forgot about what happened at the Kiss on the Lips party. Bravo, GG writers. Bravo.
What is it with this show and adults mixing kids up in their games? Does Grandpa Vanderbilt REALLY need to exact vengeance on a 17 year old girl?
10:02 Is it bad for me to read a little bit of antisemitism in every character’s willingness to make a mockery out of this most holy of rituals?
The viewing public can’t think of a single reason why you should trust B either, Nate.
Can we get a prequel episode about the Constance Mother-Daughter Luncheon? That incident with the lacrosse team sounds like fun!
10:06 Gabriel leaves, Serena follows, and then . . . hello, god. How did you get out of your machine?
There’s definitely something uplifting about Nate and Chuck actually acting like pals. Remember when they used to smoke joints in the park together?
10:09 And then Rufus suddenly doesn’t like owning an art gallery any more? How convenient. Now Dan can go to college.
10:11 And then Chuck is suddenly apologizing for being a lecherous creep? GG writers, you’re throwing a LOT at us this ep. Take it easy!
10:13 And then Blair is suddenly cool with NYU? And easily reconciles with Nate? My head = spinning
Oooooooh baby! Poppy and Gabriel, conspiring against Aerena. I couldn’t be more excited. And S, don’t forget that I promised it would be bad news if you dragged Dan into your mess for nothing. You better hope he doesn’t take this Gabriel business the wrong way!
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