Sometimes, when the world has turned upside down, and you think that nothing is stable, and danger is around every corner, and the whole discourse is in tumult, sometimes you need something to grab onto, something stable.
Gossip Girl is not that. Not this week, at least. But that's ok! Here's a running diary.
8:02 Early frontrunner for line-of-the-night: Dan's "reading, writing, and aristocrats." You're so clever!
8:03 I can’t even look at Serena. She’s be-bopping with Lily like she’s a real person, but she’s actually a monster. Monster!
8:05 "I thought a writer was supposed to write what you know. This is what I know," Dan says. "Then learn something new," the curmudgeonly Noah Shapiro rejoins. I don’t know if this is trite or like, wicked deep.
8:08 Dan: "You think I’m a boring sheltered nobody." Chuck: "I don’t think it." Great!
8:14 Of course all of the shots are for Dan. And don't these guys not have school tomorrow? And are we just forgetting that they're supposed to be 17? And is it within a reasonable suspension of disbelief that Dan would just take whatever pills Chuck is offering, solely for the sake of his craft? Stick to scotch, Lonely Boy!
8:17 Twins find me, Chuck goes. Nice! And then Gossip Girl calls Dan "shoeless and clueless." Yes! I wonder if GG is learning slam poetry from the girl who does the voiceovers on Next.
8:19 Rufus might want to let his kids know that he skipped out on touring so he could stay home with them. Maybe then they'd stop being drug-abusing, school-skipping screw-ups!
8:25 Where does B vs. S rank on the list of all-time grudge matches? Are we in Reed Richards vs. Victor Von Doom territory? Wile E. Coyote vs. Roadrunner?
8:26 First of all, Charlie Trout is a virtuoso pseudonym. It reminds me of Sal Bass, from Seinfeld. Second of all, Shapiro characterizing Charlie Trout as a young Mephistopheles? Simply awesome! I love getting things!
8:35 Dan! With the hook!
8:37 Oh boy. Chuck has a backstory. A tragic backstory! Charlie Bass is becoming the Lance Berkman of GG. Other characters get the spotlight week after week, and before you even notice it, the Bassmaster has hit 34 dingers with 120 RBI.
8:43 Now, everything I know about catwalking comes from America's Next Top Model, so I'm no expert, but isn’t it unreasonable to think that all of these socialite girls can just get up there and do it?
8:48 Jenny, you're right. Serena DOES just glide through!
8:49 What a stupid idiot I am for not knowing that Chuck would find out that Dan is just writing a story. Stupid stupid stupid.
8:52 Whose fall was more precipitous and drastic: Serena’s, or the country's economy?
8:57 I wouldn't mind them semi-reprising the "Serena's friend is blackmailing her in order to get her to do things she would never do normally" if it meant that I got my precious love back!
8:58 Why am I disappointed to see that Dan writes in Times New Roman? Don't be so provincial, man!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Craziest pills
Holy smokes. John McCain wants to suspend his campaign and postpone Friday's debate? The mind reels.
There are any of a number of ways that this can be exposed as a crass, desperate, political stunt (perhaps to divert attention away from Freddie Mac "consultant"/campaign manager Rick Davis), but I'd like to talk just for a minute about governing.
You see, there's this myth that John McCain hopes you're stupid enough to subscribe to: that Congress is just 600-odd guys and gals in a big room, running around like useless, foolish idiots. And when the going gets tough, all they need is a no-nonsense maverick to step in and knock some heads together and get people to focus. And John McCain is just that maverick!
My friends, that's not faith-in-the-intelligence-of-American-citizens that we can believe in.
The reality of the matter is that whatever this bailout legislation is going to look like, it's going to come out of the relevant Senate and House committees. These are the folks who are spending their week going back and forth with Henry Paulson and Ben Bernanke. The people whose job it is to like, you know, know things about banking and finance. Not to go Schoolhouse Rock on you or anything, but these are the few key Congressmen that Bill was singing about.
Click on those links, and one of the things you'll notice is that neither John McCain nor Barack Obama are on the Senate Banking Committee. What does that mean? It means that NEITHER OF THEM HAVE SHIT TO SAY ABOUT THIS BILL! Sweet fancy Moses, people, we have a process in place here! If John McCain wants to break his Cal Ripken–like streak of not voting in the Senate by casting his vote on whatever bill comes out of the Banking Committee, that's great. But in the meantime, he'd just be getting in the way.
Oh, don't worry, I read this:
There are any of a number of ways that this can be exposed as a crass, desperate, political stunt (perhaps to divert attention away from Freddie Mac "consultant"/campaign manager Rick Davis), but I'd like to talk just for a minute about governing.
You see, there's this myth that John McCain hopes you're stupid enough to subscribe to: that Congress is just 600-odd guys and gals in a big room, running around like useless, foolish idiots. And when the going gets tough, all they need is a no-nonsense maverick to step in and knock some heads together and get people to focus. And John McCain is just that maverick!
My friends, that's not faith-in-the-intelligence-of-American-citizens that we can believe in.
The reality of the matter is that whatever this bailout legislation is going to look like, it's going to come out of the relevant Senate and House committees. These are the folks who are spending their week going back and forth with Henry Paulson and Ben Bernanke. The people whose job it is to like, you know, know things about banking and finance. Not to go Schoolhouse Rock on you or anything, but these are the few key Congressmen that Bill was singing about.
Click on those links, and one of the things you'll notice is that neither John McCain nor Barack Obama are on the Senate Banking Committee. What does that mean? It means that NEITHER OF THEM HAVE SHIT TO SAY ABOUT THIS BILL! Sweet fancy Moses, people, we have a process in place here! If John McCain wants to break his Cal Ripken–like streak of not voting in the Senate by casting his vote on whatever bill comes out of the Banking Committee, that's great. But in the meantime, he'd just be getting in the way.
Oh, don't worry, I read this:
“I am calling on the President to convene a meeting with the leadership from both houses of Congress, including Senator Barack Obama and myself,” Mr. McCain said in New York on Wednesday afternoon. “It is time for both parties to come together to solve this problem.”But the leadership is already meeting! He wants to get President Bush involved in this! That should disqualify McCain from the presidency right off the bat. Matt Yglesias has it right. So does the estimable representative of my former district, the pride of Bayonne, Barney Frank:
"It's the longest Hail Mary pass in the history of either football or Marys."
Monday, September 15, 2008
Crazy pills 4
The title of this post is actually a little misleading. I don't actually feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I feel like I'm taking this-is-Republican-business-as-usual pills. Tell me, do the regular, small-town-values-having folks that Sarah Palin claims to represent and fight for get to dodge subpoenas? As my buddy just told me, yes, they do. They just have to go underground, not run for vice president. What a sham.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Oh boy
So I'm watching Hole in the Wall. It came on after football on Fox. If you haven't heard of this show, you at least have seen Youtubes of the Japanese version.
If you read Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun, you know that I watch a lot of garbage TV. But this might just be too garbage. I mean, the whole point of Japanese game shows is the meaningless, exuberant gibberish that's shouted over the action. When that is transformed into slick American production values and a professional commentator . . . I don't know. Some of the charm gets lost. We already have plenty of shows where jerks get pushed into pools of water, you know?
Maybe I'm just upset that they didn't make an American version of my favorite Japanese show.
If you read Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun, you know that I watch a lot of garbage TV. But this might just be too garbage. I mean, the whole point of Japanese game shows is the meaningless, exuberant gibberish that's shouted over the action. When that is transformed into slick American production values and a professional commentator . . . I don't know. Some of the charm gets lost. We already have plenty of shows where jerks get pushed into pools of water, you know?
Maybe I'm just upset that they didn't make an American version of my favorite Japanese show.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Gossip Girl is back!
Sometimes, when life is getting you down, and it seems like the whole world is weighing on your shoulders, and nothing makes sense, the light at the end of the tunnel is the only thing that keeps you going. Tonight, America was finally able to bask in that light: the season premier of Gossip Girl. I haven't decided how to treat this season on Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun, so here's a simple live blog of the proceedings.
P.S. I watch GG through the lens of Dan and Serena possessing a love that transcends reality itself. So you can imagine how the summer, after the season finale, was a burden to me. And how overjoyed I am right now.
8—Nice little recap of last season. Oh, Serena.
8:01—Nate making out with a blonde...and it's not Serena! Yes! I knew them being together was too awful to be true. And what is Chuck doing with all these hot topless ladies with that dopey hat and Popeye t-shirt?
8:04—Dan! What are you doing making out with another girl! And I know Dan is a bright guy and an undoubtedly talented writer, but what is he doing with pieces in the New Yorker? And potentially the Paris Review? That's almost as unrealistic as him juggling two non-Serena, non-Vanessa women.
8:13—No, B, S didn't have any fun with anyone all summer. She's hung up on Dan, because he's the best! Ooh, Jim drinks gin martinis. How impressive! Great line: "And if by that you mean I won't like him at all, then you're right." Yes, Chuck!
8:15—Is Rupert on tour with Lucious Jackson? Or the Breeders? Or Veruca Salt? Or Letters to Cleo? I forget.
8:20—Grandma Van der Woodsen makes another appearance. That dried up old fossil had left a wicked-witch-shaped hole in my heart! Also, doesn't that thing on B's headband look delicious?
8:28—Blair: "That Chuck Bastard!" Good! Chuck: "I'm in the mood to be right." Better!
8:36—Does anyone else find the Vitamin Water product placement to be particularly insidious here?
8:38—Huh? Is Grandma Van der Woodsen a good lady now? What happened? And how great is B's dress? It reminds me of the edge of a sheet of postage stamps.
8:48—Dan, Serena, my advice: get your heads out of your asses!
8:50—Meet you at the beach, Dan goes. This can go wrong in 100 ways in the next ten minutes. This is me, pulling my collar.
8:57—Chuck doing his best Fonzi impresonation. I l-l-l-l-l . . . And Dan, by the fire with a moleskein notebook. In a wifebeater. How Hemingway.
8:59—Is it too much to ask for Dan and Serena to kiss? Like, for real? Damn you, Gossip Girl!
P.S. I watch GG through the lens of Dan and Serena possessing a love that transcends reality itself. So you can imagine how the summer, after the season finale, was a burden to me. And how overjoyed I am right now.
8—Nice little recap of last season. Oh, Serena.
8:01—Nate making out with a blonde...and it's not Serena! Yes! I knew them being together was too awful to be true. And what is Chuck doing with all these hot topless ladies with that dopey hat and Popeye t-shirt?
8:04—Dan! What are you doing making out with another girl! And I know Dan is a bright guy and an undoubtedly talented writer, but what is he doing with pieces in the New Yorker? And potentially the Paris Review? That's almost as unrealistic as him juggling two non-Serena, non-Vanessa women.
8:13—No, B, S didn't have any fun with anyone all summer. She's hung up on Dan, because he's the best! Ooh, Jim drinks gin martinis. How impressive! Great line: "And if by that you mean I won't like him at all, then you're right." Yes, Chuck!
8:15—Is Rupert on tour with Lucious Jackson? Or the Breeders? Or Veruca Salt? Or Letters to Cleo? I forget.
8:20—Grandma Van der Woodsen makes another appearance. That dried up old fossil had left a wicked-witch-shaped hole in my heart! Also, doesn't that thing on B's headband look delicious?
8:28—Blair: "That Chuck Bastard!" Good! Chuck: "I'm in the mood to be right." Better!
8:36—Does anyone else find the Vitamin Water product placement to be particularly insidious here?
8:38—Huh? Is Grandma Van der Woodsen a good lady now? What happened? And how great is B's dress? It reminds me of the edge of a sheet of postage stamps.
8:48—Dan, Serena, my advice: get your heads out of your asses!
8:50—Meet you at the beach, Dan goes. This can go wrong in 100 ways in the next ten minutes. This is me, pulling my collar.
8:57—Chuck doing his best Fonzi impresonation. I l-l-l-l-l . . . And Dan, by the fire with a moleskein notebook. In a wifebeater. How Hemingway.
8:59—Is it too much to ask for Dan and Serena to kiss? Like, for real? Damn you, Gossip Girl!
Crazy pills 3
So John McCain's choice of Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his running mate was the news of the weekend. Even the most cursory look at her record indicates that it was a desperate, poorly thought-out, and ultimately disastrous pick for Senator McCain. (Although, like every good Republican, Governor Palin comes built-in with her own abuse-of-power scandal.)
Political expediency aside, my biggest concern is how batshit-crazily conservative this woman is. Anti-abortion (even in cases of rape or incest). Global warming denier. Polar bear-hater. Crazy gun person. Abstinence-only sex ed booster.
I find the last one to be of particular interest, given the newly discovered fact that Governor Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol is pregnant, and will be marrying the child's father. I don't particularly care that this girl is pregnant. The fact itself is irrelevant (and even I find the "Palin faked her pregnancy" rumors to be creepy and ghoulish).
But what does this say about the effectiveness of abstinence-only education? I don't know much of anything about young Bristol Palin's education, but I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that Sarah Palin (lauded by Republicans and the evangelical right as a loving and attentive mother) did her best to instill abstinence-only values in her daughter. If Bristol Palin, a girl in a conservative state in a conservative, religious family can succumb to the same primal, sexual urges that the rest of us northeastern liberal elite DFHs do, anyone can. It's less of an indictment of Ms. Palin or her mother's parenting skills, and more of an indication of the folly of abstinence-only education.
Abstinence-only education isn't about preventing unwanted pregnancies, or stopping STDs. It's about controlling young people, and especially young women. And not only does it not work, but it's incredibly dangerous. Let's talk about this, eh, folks?
Political expediency aside, my biggest concern is how batshit-crazily conservative this woman is. Anti-abortion (even in cases of rape or incest). Global warming denier. Polar bear-hater. Crazy gun person. Abstinence-only sex ed booster.
I find the last one to be of particular interest, given the newly discovered fact that Governor Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol is pregnant, and will be marrying the child's father. I don't particularly care that this girl is pregnant. The fact itself is irrelevant (and even I find the "Palin faked her pregnancy" rumors to be creepy and ghoulish).
But what does this say about the effectiveness of abstinence-only education? I don't know much of anything about young Bristol Palin's education, but I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that Sarah Palin (lauded by Republicans and the evangelical right as a loving and attentive mother) did her best to instill abstinence-only values in her daughter. If Bristol Palin, a girl in a conservative state in a conservative, religious family can succumb to the same primal, sexual urges that the rest of us northeastern liberal elite DFHs do, anyone can. It's less of an indictment of Ms. Palin or her mother's parenting skills, and more of an indication of the folly of abstinence-only education.
Abstinence-only education isn't about preventing unwanted pregnancies, or stopping STDs. It's about controlling young people, and especially young women. And not only does it not work, but it's incredibly dangerous. Let's talk about this, eh, folks?
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