I Hate That Dirty Water, part 1

I promise there will be a recurring "I Love That Dirty Water" segment, but I need to put the word out to a population I've lost all patience for: people paying for the T with cash.

It took less than two months of tap-and-go Charlie Card bliss to view with resentment and scorn those paying for the T with money. Who are these throwbacks, these anachronistic dinosaurs that cling so tenaciously to the old ways of exchanging bank notes for services? Paying with bills is bad enough, but at least once a week, I get stuck behind some brain donor that pays with dimes. For real. The nerve of these people.

Here's the plain and honest truth for those of you outside the Hub: if you pay with cash, it takes like, 30 seconds to get on the T, and that's if you have two dollar bills. With a Charlie Card? Like, half a femtosecond. I'm not even kidding around. If your T is late, you can blame the people paying with cash.

The MBTA is partly to blame. They're enablers. I say, get rid of the cash-taking parts of the fare machine and put this demon to rest. Some people will argue, "Well, I don't take the T often enough to warrant a weekly or monthly pass, so I just pay cash." My rebuttal: shut up. I take the NY subway ten times a year, tops, but I still have a Metrocard in my pocket. Get a stored value Charlie Card and end our collective misery.

That's how you can tell you're in Boston, when you see people paying for the train with dimes. Try to pull that crap in New York, and you'll have angry riders descending on you with ill-intent faster than Cleon after Cyrus got shot. People paying for the train with cash makes me hate that dirty water.