Liveblogging my wisdom tooth surgery

9:35 Well, not literally, as I'll be under while the actual surgery is going on. And I'll probably be sort of loopy immediately after. But I'll be home from work for two days, recovering, so you, my precious readers, will get an inside look at what it's like to convalesce from getting four wisdom teeth out. Come back later for more updates!

1:40 "A little bleeding and seepage from the surgical sites is normal and expected." What a nice little euphemism for "you're going to look like one of the zombie people from 28 Days Later." I feel bad for the girl I talked to at CVS. Anyway, I'm home, cooking up some noodles so I can take my narcotic drugs.

4:42 Just woke up from a napski. I have to tell you, I was hoping the Vicodin would pack a little more punch than it actually is. That said, perhaps my pain is so transcendentally intense that even the most powerful narcotics are powerless against it? That could be true.

Anyway, I've been thinking of a few things. I don't remember going under, and I definitely remember being awake for quite some time, but I don't remember the surgeon going into my mouth. Is this how anesthesia works nowadays? I always vividly remember asking them to keep the teeth, which I have to assume is not standard protocol, as I didn't get the teeth back.

Talking to all my friends who have had their wisdom teeth out is making me QUITE paranoid. Like, I didn't get that little water-shooting gizmo to clean out the holes in my mouth. I even asked if I needed it, and the oral surgery folks said no. I trust them, because they're professionals, but still . . .

Also, I'm second guessing every little thing I do with my mouth. What if I swallow something too vigorously? What if I move my tongue around too much? Should I be talking? Help!

5:30 The human mouth is really a foul and loathsome thing. I recommend not coming into contact with it unless absolutely necessary.

7:24 I suppose I'm obligated to post this.


8:15 Nobody told me this was going to be a Kafka-esque nightmare of confusion and self-doubt. When are these gaping holes in my mouth going to stop bleeding? Soon, I hope! Should I not have eaten that oatmeal? Am I drinking too much water? Not enough? Is this blog going to turn into nonsensical rantings of a lunatic mind?

9:42 Not much more to say except that my mouth is starting to hurt again. I think I'll pop some more narcotic drugs before I go to bed. Sweet dreams, Angelface.